Guideline for emotions

Emotions you encounter them all during different moments and situations of your life. Also during times when it is not convenient.

A frequently asked question to me is, how do I deal with my emotions and feelings, especially when they are so deep? I say: ''to acknoweldge them and that is ok to have them''. That is step 1.

What you want is that emotions work for you in a positive way, not against you. Even the postive emotions. You do that by acknoweldge them.

Most often people telling me that emotions overwhelm them, they have trouble feeling it, they feel uncomfortable or afraid of losing themselves in the emotion. And that is a shame because it can really help you to get clearity for instance.

Very often people say after telling me their story: "Crazy huh" or "stupid huh" that I feel like this. (Even therapists who come to me for a sessions indicate that they have sometimes difficulty with their emotions in their situation. And that doesn’t make you a bad therapist, it makes you a honest therapist.)

But no feelings and emotions are not crazy nor stupid. It tells you something about your background where you come from and where you want to go.

Often we find it easier to express and feel the fun, happy and pleasant emotions than the unpleasant one. If it comes to the unpleasant emotions we would rather skip that part or try to rationalize it away and think you ‘fixed’ it or just run away. And then the emotion with its situations comes back around, knocking on your door. It is almost like playing hide and seek. Your emotions is the seeker and you’re the hider. And you can play that game very long, till something happens that you know longer can hide from it. That is most of the time a crisis sitaution and you don't want to come to that point do you?

Emotions can give a feeling of being swept of your feet and out of balance, because you’ve been triggered in someway. You help yourself to acknowledge that. So you come back and hold your center has much as you can at that moment.

Knowledge awareness: Did you know that it is equally important to be able to name and admit both emotions, the pleasant and unpleasant. Otherwise you will get out of balance….

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. Believe me I have also been in situations where I have experienced very deep emotions that I really thought It will never go away or thought why now in this situation. I had to learn to epxpress my emotions and that they helped me at that time to clear my way of old obstacles and blockades so I can go where I wanted to go. That emotions also help me to clarify myself like to say ‘No’ or ‘Yes’, it gives an extra boost to speak up or take action on a situation. And to figure out that my emotions where oke, that was the most important one!

I needed to understand that I had to look behind my emotions to gain insight of its background, so I get a deeper understanding and get the link with the current situation what was bothering me. From there healing and transformation rises. The transformation and healing only happened if I made room for it in a safe setting to let my emotions roll and look at the background story of it. The more I except my emotions and work my unresolved stuff out the more I getting back in balance.

I also learned that it is less hard work as cost me les time to give room to my emotion and to look further than to work against it or depress it. That drains me down. I noticed on the way it gets easier to deal with my emotions because i find my way to handle it. For example that i say to my emotion I will come back to you after this situations. The emotions calms down and it trusted me because I really came back to it and dealt with it. This was very important to build a trust relationship with myself.

Knowledge awareness; Did you also know that the first 10 seconds of emotions are also the most intense and that afterwards it is a aftermath of the emotions?

Emotions are not there to judge. Both the pleasant and unpleasant are equally valuable, it just is. It helps you to navigate where to go and it is a part of being human. And both sides of the emotions come and go.

What does naming and recognition of your emotions bring, it gives peace and space. In addition, it also creates clarity.

Knowledge awareness; Did you know that you have already completed 80% of your transformation process by naming and acknowledging your emotions? That means that you only have to take a small step to transform the deeper underlying cause of your emotion.

Tip: First aid in handle your emotions

1. It is very imporant that you make a comfortable setting, where you feel safe. This could be at your home, with a friend or without, nature etc. If you do energy work you can make a safe environment. And pay attention to your intentions. What do you want it to do? For example to release, let go, transform, or whatever you feel needs to be done. So you don’t get stuck in it.

2. Recognition the emotion: It is very important to recognize how or what you feel without judgment. Just feel how you feel or how a certain situations or person made you feel. Without judging the person or the situation.

3. Express your emotion: After you felt your emotion you can express them. Give words or a from to your emotions. You can express it many different ways. Pick that what you fits the best for you. Writing, telling, painting, dancing etc. It is important because your emotions wants to be felt and seen by you. Most of the time this doesn’t take ours.

4. Congratulations when you have arrived at your 80% of your transformation.

5. After you have done this it is very important that you switch to something else, somethin nice so that you actually go further. Do something fun.

6. If you want to go all the way because you are truly done with repeating the same situation over and over again, than you have to look at the deeper underlying cause. So that you look at the background of your emotions. What I call looking after the comma. If you need any help to get your background and dive deeper and if it is resonate for you I can help you with that.